I’m going to celebrate Kurt Cobain Day by listening to Nirvana Unplugged in what can only be described as an altered state. Its what the big man would have wanted from the youth of today, I think.
- 3 weeks ago
Some days nothing works, and all you can do is let out a little sigh and carry on. There’s nothing you can do about it, right? Some people say we’re all in charge of our own fate, that if we don’t like something we can change it. Its wishful thinking, is what it is. If it were as easy as that, we’d all be living our perfect lives by now. Sometimes you just have to let things be, you have to let the world spin around you. Because its going to spin, with or without you. It doesn’t care. Preferably with, if it had a choice, but even the world doesn’t get a say in all this.
Some days nothing works, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. So don’t get too worked up about it. Ah the internet is down and I can’t poke around on Facebook, ah my phone battery died for 5 minutes and now nobody can talk to me for a little bit. Ah. Ah my dog got run over by an incredibly slow moving tank. Ah. It happens. Things happen. Just remember these two things: things happen whether you want them to or not, and things happen in cycles. Your internet is down? Boo, thats bad. But hey, Dirty Harry is on TV, so… everything is ok again.
Sometimes you just have to let some things go. You can’t win ‘em all. All you can do is try to win ‘em all and shrug your shoulders every so often. You can’t win ‘em all, just win what you can.
Decided to get my inventing hat on recently. Technology seems to be a pretty good business these days, if you can invent a thing that nobody else has invented then you’ve got a pretty good shot at making some money. What I’ve also noticed though, which is much more important, is that if you invent something that has already been invented and add a previously invented invention to that aforementioned previously invented invention, then you can make even more money than you could simply by inventing an invention.
For example, a clock is an invention. A bottle opener is an invention. But a clock/bottle opener hybrid? Thats amazing! Who wouldn’t want to constantly keep track of the time while they’re drinking by themselves? Bloody nobody. Everybody I know drinks by themselves deep into the early hours of the morning, and thus everybody I know would want to keep track of the time.
So, the trick is really in combining two or three already invented inventions into one super invention. Thats the tough part. Smart phones take this idea and punt it over a mountain, they’re trying way too hard. They’ve got phone and text and camera and video and watching TV and internet and games and potential use as a fish slice if you run out of battery. Too many things for one thing to achieve. Thats why smart phones die so quickly, is because they wear their own energy out. They have too much to do, you expect too much from them, and one day they slowly cough and roll over, and you pump your fists into the air in frustration, oblivious to the fact that some people can’t even eat dirt in the world and yet you are majorly inconvenienced because you can’t go on Facebook and tell everybody that your smart phone isn’t working.
So the trick is to combine two inventions that haven’t been combined before, and ALSO to not over-complicate said invention to the point where the invention burns itself out from being too clever. So I think I’ve finally figured it out, my great invention, my contribution to the modern world.
I call it the ‘Guitar-Shark’Telephone’. Basically, its a shark, right? With the big teeth and stuff. But also its a guitar, so you can plug in your shark to an amp and start shredding out some Megadeth. People are going to think you’re the man when you start rocking out Stairway to Heaven on a shark guitar. But say you’re playing your shark guitar and you want to let the newspapers know what they’re missing out on a heck of a news story here. Well you just use the phone application in your guitar shark, and boom! Suddenly you’re talking to everyone you know while you’re rocking out. Plus, the shark-tastic power of the shark means that your guitar phone won’t ever run out of juice. Sharks are notoriously tough and can live for 79 days out of water. Just reapply your shark guitar phone to water once every 2 or 3 months and you should be good to go! Plus, the shark defends your shark phone from possible thieves. How many times have you been walking down the street and your guitar has been stolen right from under your nose? Every day, right? It happens all the time. Well now, you’ve got the toothy defense of the shark to keep potential miscreants away! Nobody gon’ steal no shark guitar phone if there’s the risk of the shark guitar phone biting back! looks like the shark guitar phone just took a bite out of YOU!
Shark Guitar Phone, coming this Christmas. For everyone ages 8 to 80 (not really, 8 year olds wouldn’t be able to lift up a fully grown shark, don’t be ridiculous)
I’m not dead, I promise. #TryHarder
- 1 month ago
Don’t forget, here’s the link to my bands crappy demos. We’re turning these crappy demos into crappy proper songs, I promise.
What a day what a day, if you can look it in the face and hold your vomit
So 2013 is almost over and done with. My favourite bits were that time with the tornado, and also when that famous person died. What were YOUR favourite bits of 2013?