Yay, new dream alert! This blog of crap is slowly turning into a big catalogue of my stupid dreams. Anyway, here’s another one. So I’m in this big house, right? Big big house, like a mansion. Its so big that one of its big-ass rooms has been converted into a Church. Imagine a big Church. Now imagine that Church is attached to your house. Thats a big house, right? Right. Anyway, so I’ve been invited to a wedding, and the wedding is being held at this Church that happens to be attached to somebody’s house, which is why I’m sitting there. But get this guys, things get even better. You know how when you go to a wedding you get like, a plus one invitation? Well check this out fellas, I’m sitting at this wedding and I actually have a legitimate woman as my plus one! Thats right guys, I’m at a wedding with an honest to God woman! Its like the wedding of my dreams! Quite literally, cause this is a dream I’m having. Anyway so I’m pleased as punch to be sitting beside a person who actually wants to hang out with me, thats a lovely thing, and we’re sitting at the back of this Church cause we’re the cool kids, just hanging out and waiting for this wedding to start. We soon hear word of a commotion, however. People are crowding round me and alerting me of the possibility that somebody is wandering around the house and could interrupt the wedding ceremony. God knows why they’re telling me this, what do they expect me to do about it? I’m not the fucking wedding saving guy, am I? I don’t believe I am.
Anyway these cats keep annoying me about helping, whenever none of them can actually be arsed to help. So I figure I’ll do it just so we can start this stupid wedding and I can go back to hanging out with my new friend, who is called Kiki. I walk out towards the main doors of this grand Church thing, but am roughly shooed away by the relatives of the Bride, who tell me I’m not allowed to leave through this entrance because the Bride is back there, and nobody is allowed to see the Bride before the wedding! I thought that rule only applied to the Groom, but the Brides relatives are insistent that I do not leave through that door, despite the fact that I’m the only one in that fucking Church who is willing to help save the wedding from whatever stranger is roaming around the other rooms in this house. Dreams man, they don’t make no sense. Eventually I find another way out of that drafty old God-house and I find myself in the main hallway of this actual house.
Shit me man, this is a big house. This hallway is almost as big as the Church I just walked through, with grand staircases leading up super high, and big ol’ windows showing off the grand gardens outside. I decide to start looking upstairs, and I’ll work my way down. Makes sense at the time. Suddenly I’m on the top floor of this house, cause this is a dream and dreams like to skip boring bits like climbing up 4 flights of stairs or whatever. So I’m checking out every room in this giant drafty house, and I don’t see nobody, so I move onto the second floor, and then to the first floor, and finally back to the ground floor. Every room I’m in is covered in darkness, no lights apparently, but natural light from the moon is enough to illuminate most of the rooms adequately, as well as illuminating the gardens outside. Man those are some big gardens. Who could be arsed keeping those gardens looking so good? Not me, thats for sure.
Anyway, so I’m on the ground floor and there isn’t a prowler prowling around, I saw nobody that could ruin this little wedding, so we’re all good. I attempt to go back into the Church, but suddenly nobody lets me in and they look pretty pissed off at me. I am perplexed. I saw no prowler, no creeper, no miscreant who could disrupt such a wonderful occasion. Why is everyone so angry? Apparently the wedding is now off and everyone is pissed off at ME! Apparently new evidence has come out to say that I was the one who ruined the wedding. While I was galavanting around that fucking mansion looking for someone who might ruin this wedding, the entire congregation got together and decided that I was the one who ruined everything. Before the wedding took place there was a live camera set up for guest to document their thoughts and feelings on the happy couple and the wonderful day. Now APPARENTLY, some evil heartless being decided to hijack the camera somewhat, acting like a dick in front of it (as I often do in front of cameras) before choosing to lie down and sleep in front of it for about an hour. So apparently I ruined all the footage. And THIS tiny insignificant trivial thing is apparently enough for them to cancel the wedding. Red faces all around. I feel so silly, having ruined their stupid wedding footage. Anyway they won’t let me back in, which hardly matters as everybody runs out past me, most of them with angry faces. I lose sight of Kiki. Uncool.
The dream fast-forwards til about a day or two afterwards. I’m in a car driving down to a beach somewhere, we’re almost there. I’m not driving, I’m the passenger, looking out the window and watching all the crap sail past my face. We park, we disembark, and we walk down to the beach. I see a large group of people on the beach, and I am relieved. Obviously I’m looking for somebody in particular, and I see her standing near the back. There’s Kiki! Everyone ran away the other day during the wedding fiasco and I never got to properly explain what happened. I assumed she’d be pretty pissed at me since I ruined everything, but I still wanted a chance to explain stuff. So I make a bee line for her, and everyone else in the group notices me and starts booing me. Yeah, they’re all booing me for ruining a wedding. Assholes. Anyway, Kiki and someone else who I think might be her brother and I walk away from this stupid group, and it turns out these two cool cats are still on my side, they don’t care that I ruined a wedding nobody cares about. So we all go on a little beach adventure! We’re hanging around this cool little cove near the sea, walking around and hanging out. I realise I don’t have any shoes on when I step on some stray wood and end up pulling a splinter out of my foot. We climb up out of the cove and it takes us onto a little path that leads up a mountain. Kikis brother/friend wants to climb the mountain with the group of people we saw earlier, but I decide to go back to the car to get my shoes, and Kiki decides to come with me. How sweet! Finally we get a chance to hang out.
And then I woke up. Nice work, head. Another dream that could have been salvaged, ruined by the wakening world. Boo. Kiki I believe, is the name of one of the cats from Animal Crossing. One of my favourite villagers. So thats probably where I got the name from. If there’s anyone out there called Kiki, get in touch, maybe we could go to the beach sometime. Not to a wedding though, I’ll probably find a way to balls that up.